Reality check

Depression overwhelmed me the first week of school, there was no reason for it. I think it might have had something to do with the sleep change, or it might have been that I got my period. I kept up the perfect show of happiness at school but once those bus doors closed on me, my mood came crashing down. I realized how "goth" and "emo" people feel 24/7... I even listened to depressing music...not that I could find much.

I was fine after that...everything went back to the way it was in my happy world. Then again this week I was thrown into a fit of depression, I suppose this is normal for a teenager. But not me I don't WANT to be depressed...EVER! I wasn't acting either Wednesday I was completly miserable...although this time I knew what was wrong with me. Life got to me before I became spoiled with "happy days". Life had to teach me what is out there...and how valuble family and friends are.

This lesson was taught to only me. No one else viewed these changes in the world as I saw them. No one batted an eye at the extreme situations I let get to my head. My reactions to them seemed right to me. Now I view them a few days after, it seems a complete transformation of character I went through. I truelly want to stay innocent and free, as I have always been. But when I think about it, it would just be an act. Hopefully this all clears up before Monday.

Maybe, I am the odd man out of only so many to feel these emotions. So I sit here and wonder, was it a delayed reality boost for me? Did everyone else just skip this faze? Did they have it privatly? Or do they just not care? Am I alone in caring for people? Is society that bad that nobody bats an eye anymore? Or is it just my community...is it me, my untrained eyes cannot see the eye batting?

Love Always,
A forever answer searching,
me